YouTube Throwdown #1: Rides with Strangers Edition

I swear, I’ll get back to blogging about yarn in a few days. But right now all my head can handle is YouTube. So I bring to you Throwdown Thursday! Who are you going to hitch a ride with? Smashing Pumpkins and the ice cream van of “Everybody’s having sex but me”?

Or Deee-Lite and the station wagon of a million Westies?

Remarkably similar, are they not? Let’s go through this point by point.

1. Vehicle. Ice Cream truck vs. cool old station wagon. Ice cream truck is full of, well, ice cream, but the station wagon is full of adorable, happy Westies. This one’s a draw.

2. Driver. Ice Cream truck is driven by Billy Corgan, who, besides not getting any, is quite possibly the worst driver in the world. Remarkably, though, he manages not to crash the ice cream truck during the course of the video. Driver of the station wagon is some geeky kid, who is kind of creepy. Both drivers are eventually kicked out of their own vehicles by the end of the videos. Advantage: Corgan, although just slightly, mainly because although Billy Corgan is kind of creepy, the geeky kid looks like a really scary, creep Anthony Michael Hall, circa ‘Vacation.’

3. Passengers. Dee-Lite wins this in a landslide. The best thing Smashing Pumpkins has going for it in this category is James Iha in a dress. Dee-Lite features not only Lady Miss Kier, which is an automatic million points, but Towa Tei all kung-fu style and some random androgynous person dressed in a silver jumpsuit. And, you know, all of the Westies.

4. Resolution. At the end of ‘Today,’ Billy Corgan is kicked out of the Ice Cream truck in the land of ‘Everybody is still having sex except for me.’ He seems sanguine about the situation, though, and seems like he’s about to wander off into the desert to have a mystical journey.* At the end of ‘Runaway,’ Lady Miss Kier kicks geeky guy out of the station wagon (best part – while doing so, one of the Westies is in her lap) and the station wagon flies off, presumably to go find some more shrooms and coke for the car’s occupants. Advantage: Dee-Lite, unless Billy Corgan winds up talking to a coyote voiced by Johnny Cash.*

I’m giving this one to Dee-Lite, although points to Smashing Pumpkins for ice cream and James Iha in a dress.

*Recommended viewing – Homer’s Mystical Journey: